As we wade through the Covid-19 stay at home orders all of us are dealing with it in different ways. Many of us are able to work from home and some of us can’t. We may be hourly employees who have been laid off or had hours cut dramatically. Or, maybe you’re a private contractor and your industry has been deemed “non-essential” by the powers that be, so you can’t work right now. Wherever each of us are at in this crazy time, we have to deal.
My job as a pastor hasn’t stopped. I am still called to shepherd the people under my care. How I do that job has changed. It’s gone from reaching out for lunches and the like to opening online space for people to connect. The Missional Community Leaders (MCLs) that I have the pleasure of serving alongside are doing the same and seeing them step out and lead has been magnificent.
Last night I didn’t sleep much. I tossed and turned. I rolled this way and that. I got up and read for a while at 2 am. This morning as I sipped my coffee I pondered why.
Yesterday I didn’t do anything. Seriously, I woke up late. I drank coffee (amazingly delicious Lobster Butter Love from Roos Roast courtesy of some dear friends) and binge watched The Last Ship. Sure, I chatted here and there with folks on social media and lead a time of Doubt on Tap on Google Meet, but I didn’t really do anything.
What was I supposed to do yesterday? Well, type this post was one thing. Study, prepare, and flesh out the passage for our Sunday gathering was another. Then, I was supposed to record a podcast for our MCLs providing coaching for this weekend. I was also supposed to write another couple of posts and get ahead in my writing. I’m going on vacation next week (which is now looking vastly different from the week in Panama City Beach that was originally scheduled) and I wanted to have things here written and scheduled out.
Who assigned me these things to do? Nobody but me. Because in some sense I am my own boss. Yet, these are expectations that are healthy and proper for me during this time. I have communicated much of these to my MCLs who do a wonderful job at keeping me accountable.
Last night I didn’t sleep because I laid in bed and had all these thoughts about things to do running around in my head. I couldn’t shut it off. It was not a guilt ridden tirade of negative self-talk. No, it was a deep sense of the missed opportunities to create.
Being a pastor might be the job. There are certain things that go along with that job. Many of which are suspended or look really different from what they were before the pandemic. But, I am learning during this time that what I do is create.
By not creating yesterday I couldn’t sleep. My mind was full of ideas that needed to be released into the world.
It turns out that I love what I do. I love creating. I love what I create. I craft words and ideas and put them into the world. I am not the best at doing so, I’m also not the worst. But, it is what I do and I love doing it and I need to do it.
Yesterday was not a wasted day. It was the day I learned that I love what I do. What about you? What do you do? Not what your job is, but what is it that you bring to life in this world every day?
Let’s talk about it.
If you’re a subscriber you can simply reply to the email and we can talk privately or you can pop over to #LoveWell and comment on this post. I really would love to hear from you!